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20 Neil Gaiman Facts

  1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
  2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
  3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
  4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check.  Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
  5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen.  In fifteen minutes.  He won two Hugo awards for it.
  6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
  7. Most agents charge a 15% commission.  Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
  8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
  9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
  10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse.  The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
  11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
  12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
  13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book.  This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
  14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
  15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
  16. Hitler actually won World War II.  Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
  17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view.  Neil Gaiman lives it.
  18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
  19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
  20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending.  However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

( 201 comments — Leave a comment )
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gwynnega
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
Marvelous!!
supernonamegirl
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
Linked here by a friend, this was awesome.
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
jimvanpelt
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:40 pm (UTC)
Jim, you are an evil, evil man, and the world is a better place because of it.
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
Why thank you!
martianmooncrab
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.

so he is really Stephanie Meyers?.. ewh.

and I too have a signed copy of the Necronomicon, plust my paperback has bitemarks on the cover... yeah, some folks say its the cat, but I know better.
shanna_s
Sep. 7th, 2009 08:57 pm (UTC)
I think #3 might actually be true.
(Deleted comment)
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
I actually read through about eight different Chuck Norris sites, trying to get the feel for the list before doing this one :-)

Also, wow. (And I would have needed to check the spelling on that too.)
(Deleted comment)
harrypworshiper
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
amazing. Twittering this @neilhimself. :D
alemya
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Baba Yaga moved her house because it was obstructing Neil's view.
oneminutemonkey
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:32 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman invented mythology, just so he'd have something worth writing about.
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
He then invented writing.
(no subject) - evanelric - Sep. 9th, 2009 01:18 am (UTC) - Expand
temporus
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC)
Today, you have won the Internet. It is yours for the rest of the day to do with at your whim.
(Anonymous)
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:39 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman's accent IS a national treasure. *drool*
(Anonymous)
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman must drink Dos XX beer, because apparently he is the most interesting may alive.
mtlawson
Sep. 7th, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything while I was reading this list. #11 made me laugh until my sides hurt.
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 11:48 pm (UTC)
::Grin:: #11 is in the lead as the current Readers' Favorite.
(no subject) - mtlawson - Sep. 8th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
hitnrunheretic
Sep. 7th, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman as the Chuck Noris of literature...You have made my day and I love you a just a bit more than I did before.
jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
Very glad to hear it :-) Thank you.
precisiongrace
Sep. 7th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC)
I had to read it twice before I realised you may have made some of these things up.

Thank you for making me laugh out loud at the laptop screen. That hasn't happened in a while. Truth.

jimhines
Sep. 7th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome :-)

Also, I love the little snail!
(Deleted comment)
aurora_84
Sep. 8th, 2009 12:38 am (UTC)
Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
Yessss. COMPLETELY DESERVED.

Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
*standing ovation*
b_writes
Sep. 8th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
When he won the Newbery he was on National Public Radio, and I got into the car, was listening to this guy talk about his book (it was halfway through the piece so I didn't know who it was or what the context was), and my first thought was, "I don't know who this author is, but he has an amazing voice."
(no subject) - aurora_84 - Sep. 8th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
spencimusprime
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)
I loved 11, but 16 was my very favorite.

dendrophilous
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
I read #1 and started wondering whether he used the qwerty or dvorak layouts, and which would be easier...Then I read the rest and cracked up.
(Deleted comment)
apricot_tree
Sep. 11th, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
May I use your lovely icon - with credit, of course? I love that comic. :)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - apricot_tree - Sep. 11th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC) - Expand
gogo_ergo_sum
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:11 am (UTC)
Heh! Loved this. Gaiman is the only celeb I follow on Twitter. I love his Tweets. They're interesting, comical, (adorably) humble, and sublime.
minkhollow
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)
::dying of laugh:: This is kinda perfect.
viridian
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:20 am (UTC)
Linked here by a friend; this is more hilarious than jokes in this vein have any right to be. :D
jimhines
Sep. 8th, 2009 11:52 am (UTC)
Thanks :-) Very glad you enjoyed 'em!
(Anonymous)
Sep. 8th, 2009 01:59 am (UTC)
Yeah, but can Neil Gaiman out-do Chuck Norris?
b_writes
Sep. 8th, 2009 03:15 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman taught Chuck Norris how to read.
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( 201 comments — Leave a comment )

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