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Pose-off with John Scalzi

Snoopy

ETA: While the overall response to the fundraiser and pics continues to be exponentially awesome, I’ve also seen a few areas where response has begun to shift from, “I say, those poses seem remarkably impractical, and how exactly does one do that without dislocating one’s ankle?” to “Hey, guys dressing or posing like girls are both ugly and hilarious!” Which misses the point so badly it’s not even funny. Please see this follow-up post for my thoughts on the context of these poses, the hotness of John Scalzi, and my apology for not better framing and presenting this post in the first place.

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When I started the Aicardi Syndrome Fundraiser, I recruited bestselling author and ukelele prodigy John Scalzi to be a bonus goal when we hit the $1000 mark.

We raised that much on the first day. Which meant it was time to see once and for all (at least until the next round) who was the true cover-posing master!

I issued the challenge, offering him the choice of three book covers to imitate. With the help of his readers, he selected The Taste of Night [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], by Vicki Pettersson.

This was the big one. After warming up, I took a break to walk off the pains of the previous poses, and to mentally prepare myself. I meditated for three days and six nights. I purified my body with a diet of crushed ice, unbuttered toast, and green Skittles. I studied one of our cat to learn the true secret of flexibility. Unfortunately, all I learned was the secret of well-timed cat farts.

But my training period was over. I put the Rocky soundtrack on the stereo, changed clothes, and began Operation Sexy Leg.

My wife took eight photos, helping me to adjust my stance each time, then giving me a chance to fall down between takes. But I think it was worth it!

Dear Internet: I present to you my version of The Taste of Night!

I’d like to thank my daughter for letting me borrow her bracelet, and my wife for the shoes and for letting me sacrifice one of her disposable razors.

But John Scalzi wanted to win this thing as much as I did. I don’t know what master he trained with, but whoever that wise and sadistic sensei might be, they turned Mister Scalzi into a posing opponent to be feared. John went all out in his own, special way.

Over on Twitter, John offered his thoughts on the process, saying, “AAAARRRGH MY HIP!”

I’d like to thank everyone for their donations and generosity so far, and John in particular for his willingness to play along. Please remember that the fundraiser runs through the end of the month, and the money raised supports both research into Aicardi Syndrome and the biannual conference which helps to unite these families, connecting them to a much-needed network of support.

And remember, there are more goals to come, including the $5000 group pose with me, Scalzi, Stross, Rothfuss, and Kowal! You know you want to see this, and we’re getting so close!

Go. Donate. Make the world better, and force more authors to injure themselves in humorous ways for a great cause.

But first, it’s time to make your voice heard! (I’m crossing my fingers that the poll widget works!)


Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

( 83 comments — Leave a comment )
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rarelylynne
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, Jim. YOU SHAVED FOR US.

*hugs*
fadethecat
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:36 pm (UTC)
I am in awe! I won't even shave my legs for my own skirt-wearing self.
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liz_dejesus
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:39 pm (UTC)
Love it! :D
Rea Manderino
Dec. 12th, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
I'm responding to you solely because I love your avatar. I based my first tattoo from this scene. Did you make the gif yourself or find it somewhere?
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princejvstin
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:43 pm (UTC)
My eyes! My eyes!
hawkwing_lb
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
Please say that you're going to turn these shots into a calendar. Please.
starcat_jewel
Dec. 11th, 2012 07:49 pm (UTC)
Yes. CALENDARS FOR CHARITY! I would so buy that.
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suricattus
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
*will never, ever ever be able to recover from seeing Scalzi in that outfit/pose....*


BTW, Jim, you've got damn fine legs. :-)
jimhines
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:03 pm (UTC)
Even if I didn't wax? ;-)
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reedrover
Dec. 11th, 2012 02:50 pm (UTC)
I'm such a fan of your wife!
jimhines
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:03 pm (UTC)
Me too!!!
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stormsdotter
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:01 pm (UTC)
Jim, you rock!

I encourage you to challenge Myke Cole to this!
coldironkiss
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:08 pm (UTC)
You win on the grounds of better form and silky smooth legs, but Scalzi earns a bacon cookie for scarring my very soul.
wookiemonster
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
And as I read this, my media player plays Bob Rivers' "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear."

Seriously, though, it's things like this, the charity bit and creativity, that makes me proud to be a geek.
valarltd
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:29 pm (UTC)
You're closer to the pose. You got her hip-thrust and torso twist while Scalzi is only in a squat.
scarlettina
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:30 pm (UTC)
I didn't get a chance to thank you for doing Summoning. It needed to be done. But the Taste of Night cover is a whole other thing. :-) Well done, sir. Well done! (And such a leg!)
jimhines
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
Competition brings out the best in me. Or the worst :-)
salzara_tirwen
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:33 pm (UTC)
Are there two photos in this post? I only see the hairy one, which I'm assuming is Scalzi.

- nevermind, Noscript was bugging things.

Edited at 2012-12-11 03:37 pm (UTC)
jimhines
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
Oh good - glad you found them both.

Whether or not you're glad to have seen them, well, that's an entirely different question :-)
winters_queen
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:40 pm (UTC)
It was a tough call because you both brought a little something. Scalzi got points for the wig. But you have the better form and SHAVED. talk about dedication for the pose. XD

If I wasn't at work now, I'd be getting myself a drink. I still might.
pbray
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)
ARGH! Words can not express the sheer horror. Brain bleach will be required :-)

Edited at 2012-12-11 03:43 pm (UTC)
birdhousefrog
Dec. 11th, 2012 03:47 pm (UTC)
Oh the horror! But yes, you SHAVED for us, even the one leg. THAT brings the win, outweighs the wig. Also, your right leg is in the position and his isn't. But both of you lose just a few points for not getting that sexy head tilt, though yours is almost there. These are scary, Jane Hines, truly scary. I will make a donation! :D

Oz
wolfsilveroak
Dec. 11th, 2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*
eve11
Dec. 11th, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
Awesome. jimhines you really got the facial expression down! :D
Midian42
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
You *shaved* - you *committed*! (Sorry Scalzi, I think you're awesome, but Jim has to suffer through itchy regrowth.)
dionysus1999
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:09 pm (UTC)
I gave it to John for the wig and the stare, he somehow manages to make it even creepier than you. It was a tough call, though.
nix_this
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:18 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful in ways I will never unsee XD
lietya
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:24 pm (UTC)
This is such a fantastic idea, and you and Scalzi both deserve infinite credit for being such good sports.

That said, I hope you won't mind if I say that you do seem to have very nice legs. :) Count me as another who thinks you won, mostly for the verisimilitude of your costume!
lady_fellshot
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:37 pm (UTC)
Quick! This sort of horror can only be mitigated by baby chinchillas!
http://cheezburger.com/6532766976
delkytlar
Dec. 11th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
Jim, bestill my heart! That is such a spot-on pose, how could I not vote for you? Congratulations on the continued success of your fund-raising campaign.

I'll also offer an "E for Effort" to Scalzi. Or is that really one of Jig's goblin mates?
pickledginger
Dec. 11th, 2012 06:19 pm (UTC)
Bonus points to Scalzi for the wig, the spaghetti straps, and the cognitive dissonance.

But you're the clear winner for the right shoulder dislocation, the torso twist, the head position (much closer, anyway), the expression, the framing and typesetting, and the truly great legs!

(Neither of you have the right knee quite far enough forward, but I am not sure that is possible, when it's still attached.)
dr_phil_physics
Dec. 11th, 2012 06:31 pm (UTC)
Good lord, nearly 2300 people have voted so far. I went for Jim on the better leg extension.

Dr. Phil
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