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I know I haven’t even mailed out the book from my last giveaway yet, but I couldn’t help it! I had to give out more free books. Because that’s just how I roll!

Okay, what really happened is that a while back I had the chance to read Marie Brennan’s new book A Natural History of Dragons [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy]. I loved it, and was happy to provide a blurb. Tor recently offered me a finished copy as a way of saying thank you, which was very nice of them. To which I responded, “Yes please, and if you felt like sending me an extra copy, I’ll give one away on my blog.”

They sent me four.

I’m a-keeping one for myself, but the other three are up for grabs.

And just to make things more exciting, these are autographed copies! Not autographed by Brennan, though. And let’s be honest, we authors sign a lot of our books, especially during release month. So there will probably be plenty of author-signed copies out there. But these three books are the ONLY COPIES with MY autograph! Go ahead and look, it’s right there on the back cover by my blurb!

In keeping with the theme, all you have to do to enter the giveaway is write a blurb for the not-actually-written book Mary’s Angels and leave it in the comments. If you’re unfamiliar with this masterpiece or need a reminder, click here for the cover art. Your blurb should be silly, and can be as positive or negative as you’d like. (Though I know you can do better than “Oh, I’m blind” and “Brain bleach!”)

Everyone can enter, no matter where you’re located, and I’ll pick three winners at random next week.

I’ll close with the official publisher’s description:

You, dear reader, continue at your own risk. It is not for the faint of heart—no more so than the study of dragons itself. But such study offers rewards beyond compare: to stand in a dragon’s presence, even for the briefest of moments—even at the risk of one’s life—is a delight that, once experienced, can never be forgotten. . . .

All the world, from Scirland to the farthest reaches of Eriga, know Isabella, Lady Trent, to be the world’s preeminent dragon naturalist. She is the remarkable woman who brought the study of dragons out of the misty shadows of myth and misunderstanding into the clear light of modern science. But before she became the illustrious figure we know today, there was a bookish young woman whose passion for learning, natural history, and, yes, dragons defied the stifling conventions of her day.

Here at last, in her own words, is the true story of a pioneering spirit who risked her reputation, her prospects, and her fragile flesh and bone to satisfy her scientific curiosity; of how she sought true love and happiness despite her lamentable eccentricities; and of her thrilling expedition to the perilous mountains of Vystrana, where she made the first of many historic discoveries that would change the world forever.

I liked this book a lot. Lady Trent is a great character, the memoir structure works really well, and as a bonus, you get interior illustrations by Todd Lockwood. If you don’t win, you should check it out anyway.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


( 62 comments — Leave a comment )
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Feb. 4th, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
Mary's Angels is an action packed thriller of the new sub-genre of SF-Noir detective fiction. Follow Mary and her four "assistants" as they solve the mystery of an alien murder on Earth. You will never be able to un-read this novel!
Feb. 4th, 2013 02:45 pm (UTC)
"The first space opera to include knee-adoration as a major plot point!"
Feb. 4th, 2013 02:50 pm (UTC)
You think you have seen everything after surviving the sleeplessness and hilarity of dealing with 4 human toddlers? Think again! Mary will reveal all about the torture and hilarity of sharing house with 4 angels and still managing to save the world as we know it!
Feb. 4th, 2013 02:55 pm (UTC)
When Mary's mysterious Corporation bosses sent her out on a mission they dubbed, "Insanely Dangerous--Volunteers Only," she knew she was in for a rough ride. But she could never have anticipated the four volunteers she'd be working with, or the dangers lurking in their sullen eyes and pouty lips. Mary was known as the toughest gun for hire in the company, but even she might not be able to cope with...Mary's Angels.
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:00 pm (UTC)
"Mary Kowal is a puppeteer by day, but she controls a different sort of string by night as Earth's most hidden interstellar spymaster. But someone has unraveled her web, and now she's on the run, with only an unlikely group of old contacts as her allies. Mary will need all her many talents to find her unknown enemy and stop them... and to keep her allies in line."
Feb. 12th, 2013 10:19 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! You’re one of the three names picked to receive a copy of Marie Brennan’s latest book, “A Natural History of Dragons.” It will be signed by me on the back, and Marie sent autographed stickers to go inside, so your book will be doubly awesome!

All I need to know is where to mail it. If you could email me at jchines -at- sff.net with a mailing address, I’ll get that sent your way.
(no subject) - beccastareyes - Feb. 12th, 2013 10:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:03 pm (UTC)
Have you met Mary? No? Well once you do you certainly won't forget her or the gentlemen of her escort service that is a chest hair above the rest. They've been hired for an intergalactic cruise but it looks like the guests are getting more than they bargained for.
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:25 pm (UTC)
Ooo.... I've already got Warrior on my TBR pile.

Okay, here's a blurb for you:

"When special ops meets the Hangover movies, you find Mary's Angels."
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC)
Special agent Mary Robinette Kowal figured this was going to be an easy gig: infiltrate a sci-fi and fantasy convention and find out who has been poisoning the Hugo nominees. A bunch of middle-aged geeks should be child's play for a veteran like Mary. But the world of science fiction and fantasy is not as mild-mannered as she thought, and intrigue and hidden agendas hinder her every step.

Her only help comes from four writers worried they're next on the killer's list. Can Mary save her new friends and solve the crime? Will these four real life knights in shining armour defeat the villain, or will they die fighting? Find out in MARY'S ANGELS!
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:32 pm (UTC)
OK, I just wrote one, but I totally think yours should win :D
(no subject) - dracothelizard - Feb. 4th, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sylvia_rachel - Feb. 4th, 2013 03:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 4th, 2013 03:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dracothelizard - Feb. 4th, 2013 03:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 4th, 2013 04:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dracothelizard - Feb. 4th, 2013 04:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:31 pm (UTC)
From the publisher's description:

When terrifying many-tentacled invaders from the Tadpole Galaxy threaten Earth, the planet has only one hope: the wacky band of interstellar mercenaries and adventurers (and we do mean adventurers) known as Mary's Angels...

And my blurb:

Don't miss this classic space opera featuring misunderstood alien invaders, scantily clad space mercenaries, black-tie receptions, fighting, torture, revenge, and underwater hijinks. Ass-kicking heroine Mary and her crew of ex-waifs and strays keep the plot twists coming page after page. (And don't worry -- it's not a kissing book.) Highly recommended!
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC)
Tentacles, underwater hijinks AND scantily clad space mercenaries? When is this available on Amazon ;)?
Feb. 4th, 2013 03:55 pm (UTC)
I got carried away and wrote some jacket copy instead of a blurb, but I'll go ahead and put it here anyway:

"If George Eliot and Stan Lee had collaborated on a Kafkaesque pastiche of a Poul Anderson novel, it might read something like this!" -- Kirkjames reviews

A decade ago, paranormal detective Mary Robikow inadvertently exorcised her demon lover, leaving behind only his feckless meat puppet, Nick McClingy. Devastated, she covered her midriff and holstered her Nerfalizer – for good. Or so she thought. . .

Now, Mary has established a new career in a new city on the fringes of galactic civilization. Here, she is respected as the city’s greatest Puppeteer, managing the consensual and mutually safe demonic possessions of any who feel the need to be someone else. With the aid of her elite corps of Angels – men who, being unpossessable themselves, have the unique ability to navigate safely between realms to match clients with demons based on Mary’s patented 666 Degrees of Compatibility system – Mary has finally found her niche, and a measure of peace.

But strange things are afoot. McClingy has suddenly arrived in town with a rakish gleam in his eye. Has he finally grown up, or has he been dangerously repossessed? Confusing matters further, there is mounting evidence that one of Mary’s angels has been possessed and is seeking to destroy her business, and perhaps her soul. But which Angel is it, and why? And to top it all off, a new bill has been proposed that would criminalize possession altogether – a bill that, if passed, would make Mary retroactively complicit in countless felonies.

Mary’s a master Puppeteer, but now she has mere days to discover who’s pulling her strings before she loses her license – or her life!

"Dizzying! Dazzling! A kaleidoscopic tour of the intricacies of love, this novel can works on multiple levels, satisfying beefcake cravings even as it teases out the most tender truths of the twining of souls. A masterpiece." -- The New Yorkist
Feb. 4th, 2013 04:16 pm (UTC)
Mary? They had to call me Mary? When you've got a name like that, you can join the forces of evil or spend your life battling them. I chose to join the good fight. Now I wear black and carry a Nerfgun that'll take out a whole swarm of Nerfs coming at me. It's not an easy job, but I've got the best backup a woman could hope for. They may look pale and flabby, but trust me; those fellows have got what it takes. Together we'll defeat the Nerfs trying to take over this planet---or go down in flames trying.

(And I will add I have nothing against the name Mary! I have a very nice cousin with that name who does her part to fight the good fight.)
Feb. 4th, 2013 04:26 pm (UTC)
The name's Mary. Mary Contrary. (OK, so the angels are fallen, but have you tried recruiting recently)? We fight crime. Also stereotypes. And I've got a wicked orange and yellow plastic gun...
Feb. 4th, 2013 04:30 pm (UTC)
Mary is a magnet: a magnet for intergalactic trouble, and a magnet for semi-dressed men. Mary's Angels is a delightful, comic romp chronicling her inevitably-resulting adventures.
Feb. 4th, 2013 04:57 pm (UTC)
Mary is a hybrid of Sarah Connor and Toby day. She and her team of masculine mayhem wreckers find out what it takes to maintain their honor and complete there mission in this action tumble through the antics they need to take over the world.
Feb. 4th, 2013 04:59 pm (UTC)
"masculine mayhem wreckers..."

Where's John Scalzi and his "My Next Band Name" tumblr when you need him?
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 4th, 2013 05:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 4th, 2013 05:34 pm (UTC)
Come with Mary and her Angels on a whimsical adventure as they fight intergalactic crime while tippling Coke Zeros. On Ice.
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)
How can having a harem become a chore?

Ask Mary. She not only has to persuade all four of her pleasure slaves to keep their clothes on and tame their beard hairs, but she's also stuck solving mysteries on the side to keep them all fed. Can she manage to civilize these magnificent beasts and solve the murder before laundry day? Find out!
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:09 pm (UTC)
You are being watched. The government has a secret system, a machine that spies on you every hour of every day. Mary knows, because she built it. She designed the machine to detect acts of terror but it sees everything. Violent crimes involving ordinary people, people like you. Crimes the government considered "irrelevant." They wouldn't act, so she decided she would. Hunted by the authorities, she works in secret. But she needs her Angels, men with the skills to intervene. They are her "Men in Suits" -- or out of them!
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:34 pm (UTC)
Mary is a smart, kickass heroine who knows 28 ways to kill you with a Nerf gun. She and her band of guardian angels will drag into their fight against the demons invading their pool house whether you like it or not--but you will like it, dude, trust me. Patrick "Duckface" Rothfuss steals the show on his canary yellow pool chair that turns into one of the ten plagues at will.
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:35 pm (UTC)
Mary has come into the past to save the future. The four middling fantastic fiction authors she chooses to help her seem like poor choices to change mankind's destiny. They are, but in unexpected ways.
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:37 pm (UTC)
Mary's Angels-Will do for bookstores, what Jaws did for beaches.
Feb. 4th, 2013 06:43 pm (UTC)
I know the guy who did the other blurb rather well, and if you wanted to give away a copy with *both* blurb writers' autographs, that could be arranged. If not, no big deal.
Feb. 4th, 2013 07:11 pm (UTC)
"Once upon a time, there were four little boys who went to ConFusion in Dearborn, and they were each assigned very hazardous (and humiliating) posing duties to benefit the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation, but I took them all away from all that, and now they work it like a polaroid picture for me. My name is Mary."

I've already bought my ebook of Marie's novel, but I'd love a signed physical copy! Can't wait to read this!
Feb. 4th, 2013 07:18 pm (UTC)
Mary's Angel's brings home the bacon. Thrill along with Mary as she learns that asking for help off the internet's not all it's cracked up to be.
Feb. 4th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
I so very much intend to get this book anyway when I have the funds.


Someone was out for Mary with the deadliest endings in mind.

Agent Mary Kowal was sent to fly to Pluto 13 to provide body guard detail to Pluto 13's first self-elected President. When she got there, there was only murder and mayhem. Mary discovered the President dead at her desk and holographic proof that Mary was the one who had done the dastardly deed! To prevent war between Earth and Pluto 13, Mary needs to solve the murder and keep herself from being ejected into space as payment for the crime.

Her only clue is an old Earther fountain pen. And four men who have had close relations with the President. (Or so they say on their blog).

With time running out, Mary needs to discover if the four pale men are her allies or their enemies.

Are they Mary's Angels?

Edited at 2013-02-04 07:42 pm (UTC)
Feb. 4th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Their skills range from combat flower-arranging to poisonous perfumery to competition dance as a martial art and evening wear as a deadly weapon. They kick ass with a courtesy and panache not seen since Errol Flynn, and they have a new mission--to find out who is targeting sexy librarians and trying to drive the world back into the Dark Ages.

They are Mary's Angels. She taught them everything they know, and now they are the nemesis of Bad Guys everywhere.
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Jim C. Hines

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