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August 28 will be my last day as a full-time state employee, after which I get to transition into my full-time job as a writer. I’m excited and eager and impatient. I can’t wait to have more time for writing various books and stories and other projects.

It also scares the hell out of me.

I’ve felt the stress and anxiety building as I get closer to Q-Day. Some of it is completely irrational. Significant life changes are always stressful. Even good changes.

Garth - We Fear Change

There’s also the rather long list of things I need to take care of at work before I leave, a list that keeps multiplying like gremlins in a hot tub. Everything from documenting my work and processes to finishing out various projects to making sure my family’s insurance will transition smoothly from my coverage to my wife’s.

There’s the financial side of things. I’ve done as much as I can to prepare for the change to our income. I’ve got things like the on-publication payment for Fable: Blood of Heroes, the D&A for Revisionary, the mass market payment for Unbound, and the hardcover payment for Revisionary all coming in over the next six months or so. But in the long term? We’ll see…

Then there’s the Imposter Syndrome lurking in the wrinkly shadows of my brain. “Oh, sure. You did pretty well when you were working a day job and putting out one book a year. But do you have what it takes to make it as a real writer?”

Imposter Syndrome is a jerk. I hate the idea that some people are “real” writers and other people aren’t. I’ve been a real writer for twenty years. But the fear is completely irrational, and this feels somehow realer. It’s another step up on the ladder, and that means another opportunity to fail.

It’s also another opportunity to succeed. It’s the chance to branch out and write new things, to put more energy and focus into my writing career and see what comes back.

I believe this will be a very good change for me and for my family. Hopefully for my readers as well. I’m excited about it, and I’m counting down the days. I’m particularly looking forward to waking up on Monday the 31st, looking at my clock, and then rolling over and going back to sleep. I’ve spent the past week and a half doing worldbuilding and outlining a brand new fantasy novel, and I can’t wait to start writing the story. I love that I’ll have more time to write, and could possibly get this written and submitted so much faster than my usual one book/year pace.

But the fear is there too. It probably always will be. If there’s no fear, no risk of failure, I figure that means I’m probably not reaching high enough.

Nine days and counting…

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
cathschaffstump
Aug. 19th, 2015 02:20 pm (UTC)
If I'm completely honest with myself, fear is one of the biggest reasons I don't do this. I grew up extremely impoverished, and part of me worries about going back there. Ain't going back there.

But you know, one of the regrets you aren't going to have is that you didn't give the writing career your best shot, because you are. And rather intelligently too. I will never have regrets about being a teacher, and setting myself up in a career where I do have some writing time. However, I know that what I can produce in the amount of time I have left is not going to be the amount I could produce if this was a full time job.

So, hey, good on you for doing it.

And imposter syndrome will always be your friend. Embrace it and write anyway.

:) 9 days, dude.
deborahblakehps
Aug. 19th, 2015 02:44 pm (UTC)
You're going to rock it, babe. Booyah.
burger_eater
Aug. 19th, 2015 03:16 pm (UTC)
First of all, you're going to be fine. People do this. You're at the point; this leap is going to be good for you and your family.

And it'll help other people, too, since it means you'll be self-employed and a new person will get to have your old job.

Jim Hines going full-time writer: good for him, good for America.
beccastareyes
Aug. 19th, 2015 05:06 pm (UTC)
Imposter Syndrome is a jerky jerk. Glad to hear it's not stopping you.
mtlawson
Aug. 19th, 2015 06:01 pm (UTC)
Best of luck. Seriously.
rayvyn2k
Aug. 20th, 2015 01:13 am (UTC)
You are a wonderful writer and I am so very happy for you! I know you'll be fine. :)
live_momma
Aug. 20th, 2015 04:14 am (UTC)
Impostor Syndrome is an asshole! Mine says, "A real adult would(n't)..." I'm nearly 40 years old, and I've got four kids, but I'm not a "real" adult? How does that even work?

You are a real writer who writes great books. I look forward to reading the next one. So there! *sticks out tongue at Impostor Syndrome, like a freaking adult*
dogzilla30
Aug. 22nd, 2015 11:46 am (UTC)
Acknowledge all the feelings; put the negative ones on a mental conveyor belt and watch them disappear!
cissa
Aug. 27th, 2015 03:48 am (UTC)
I am wishing you all the best!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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