Jim C. Hines

Short Fiction Pay Rates

2009-12-07T14:30:31Z

A week or so back, John Scalzi tore into Black Matrix Publishing for their short fiction pay rate of 1/5 of a cent per word. Black Matrix responded, explaining that this is a “labor of love.” They never implied that they were a pro market, and isn’t a token payment better than none at all? (I believe Publish America uses the same rationalization with their $1 advance.) Scalzi promptly shredded their arguments.

Cat Valente weighed in as a “mid-career author” who writes a lot of short fiction. Sarah Monette offered a third perspective, including examples of her own fiction which sold for fairly low rates, and a discussion of when and why she chooses to submit her work to semi-pro markets.

Looking at my own bibliography, there are two stories I received no payment for, and at least a half-dozen more that fall into the semi-pro category, whether that’s a $5 flat rate or a penny a word. A careful reading will also show that this stopped around the end of 2003, after I “sold” a flash piece to a royalties-only e-book that, as far as I can tell, never sold a single copy.

Around 2004, I began submitting only to markets that paid SFWA pro rates (Then three cents a word. ETA: Current SFWA pro rate is 5 cents/word). Not because I was insulted by lesser pay rates. Not because I felt exploited by the smaller markets. But because my goal as a writer was to be read.

Publishing in those smaller venues was good for my ego. Of course it feels better to be accepted than rejected. But aside from that ego boost, those sales did little else for my stories or my career. Sure, I could go out and buy a slice of pizza with my earnings. But almost nobody read my work.

The contributors got their copy, so it’s possible some of my fellow authors glanced at my story. Maybe. (Authors, how many of you read every story in every contributor copy of an anthology or magazine?) Aside from that? Well, one friend in college did pick up a copy of World Wide Writer, so that’s something, right? What’s World Wide Writer, you ask? Oh, right. They were a tiny startup ‘zine that died after two issues.

I don’t use pay rate as an absolute rule. Sure I’d rather make $250 than $25. But I sold a story to Andromeda Spaceways recently, and they pay significantly less than 5 cents/word. On the other hand, they’ve been around a long time, put out a nice magazine, and have a good reputation and readership for a semi-pro. There are a handful of others, publications that pay less than pro rates, but have earned a lot of critical acclaim or developed a broader readership.

In general though, minuscule pay rate correlates to minuscule readership. I suspect there are more markets listed on the for-the-luv page at Ralan than there are readers for those markets.

When I started aiming for pro markets in 2004, several things happened. I got rejected more. I was forced to improve as a writer. And eventually, as I broke into those markets, more people began reading my work.

Is Black Matrix exploiting writers? Token payment is better than nothing. (Chtulhu spare us from markets promising “exposure” as compensation.) But there’s “token” and there’s “spare change I found in my sofa.”¹ I don’t believe Black Matrix is trying to scam anyone. But I won’t submit to them, and I wouldn’t recommend them as a market for new writers who want to build a career and be read.

—

Deleted for unnecessary snark. ↩

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Zombie Rhymes: Three Dead Mice

2009-12-04T14:00:15Z

Three Dead Mice
by Jim C. Hines

Three dead mice.
Three dead mice.
Hear how they moan.
Hear how they moan.
They all chased after a bloke named Pat.
He caved in their skulls with a cricket bat.
If only he’d noticed that undead rat
behind the mice
who nipped him twice.

—
If any of my artistically inclined readers are interested in doing sketches to go with these, please let me know. No pay or anything like that — it’s all for the sheer, morbid fun.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Why I Haven’t Written a 4th Goblin Book

2009-12-02T14:30:30Z

At least once a month, I receive an e-mail or a comment asking if I’m going to do a fourth goblin book. The answer has always been, “Probably not.” I can think of only two situations wherein I might consider writing another goblin book:

DAW offers to pay me a million dollars¹.
I come up with an idea for a goblin story that is both new and exciting to me as a writer.

The thing is, in my brain, Jig’s story is finished. I’ve shown him and his fellow goblins growing and changing over the three books. I leave them in a very different place in book three, and I like that. I like that we got to see Tymalous Shadowstar’s story as well. I like that we got closure for some of the other characters and situations from book one. It feels done.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right call, if maybe I should have kept going with the series. Jig has some wonderful fans, and he really was a fun character to write. (Not to mention the goblins were making great money over in Germany!) And then last night I caught the rebirth of Scrubs.

This is a show that “ended” after season eight. I thought they had a wonderful series finale, and I was very impressed at how they handled everything. It worked.

And then they decided to keep going. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it was a purely commercial decision, or if someone honestly thought they had more stories to tell. All I know is that it was painful. Many of the characters had crossed the line into caricature. The stories felt repetitive–things we had already seen in earlier seasons. The whole thing felt hollow.

I hope they’ll improve as the season progresses, and I’ll keep watching to see where they go with it. But those two new episodes affirmed for me why I don’t just sit down and write a fourth Jig book. If I wrote it because the fans wanted it, or for money, or for any reason aside from my own love and excitement over a new story, the odds are that I’d lose the heart of those stories. I’d end up with the same kind of empty, repetitive caricature I watched last night.

I was disappointed when Scrubs ended, but I enjoyed the series, and I loved and respected the way they wrapped things up. As a fan, I find myself wishing they had left it there. And as a writer, I don’t want to do that to my own fans.

—

Or any publisher, for that matter. I’m not picky. ↩

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Tuesday Crud

2009-12-01T13:56:39Z

• For a day or two there, I thought I might be lucky enough to dodge the cough/crud that had hit the rest of the family. I was wrong. Stupid crud.

• As a follow-up to yesterday’s post, check out Kate Harding’s slideshow of various BMI ranges. (I particularly like Moxie’s pic.) Thanks to @skyladawn for the link.

• Huge congrats to Michael Jasper and Niki Smith. Their comic In Maps & Legends won Zuda’s competition for November, meaning my buddy Mike now has himself a publishing contract with DC Comics. Sweet!

• If you’ll be buying any of my books for folks for Christmas, let me know and I’ll mail you one of the two autographed bookplates below to go with them. (U.S. only, I’m afraid. While supplies last, and all that.)

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Reading
The Secret History of Moscow by Ekaterina Sedia
Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy

Writing
Snow Queen

Lincoln U’s Big Fat Fail

2009-11-30T14:01:26Z

In 2006, Lincoln University in Pennsylvania instituted a policy that students with a BMI of 30 or higher must take a “Fitness for Life” class. The students affected by this rule are now seniors, some of whom may not be able to graduate, either because they haven’t gotten their BMI tested by the university or because they have a BMI of 30 or higher and haven’t taken the class.

James DeBoy, chair of Lincoln’s health, PE, and recreation department, explains:

“This country’s in the midst of an obesity epidemic … We need to address this problem directly with our students. No student should ever be able to leave Lincoln and not know the risks of obesity.”

For reference, I’m 5′7″, around 160 pounds (which means I’m “overweight”, according to the BMI). If I hit 200 pounds, that puts my BMI at 30.5. I am now “obese,” and would be required to take the extra class in order to graduate. (Presumably, I’m also required to pay the university for the privilege.)

My God, what would these people do without the rest of us to remind them how fat and unhealthy and generally repulsive they are? It’s not like heavy people get smacked with this message every day.

The underlying assumption is that obesity is caused by a failure of willpower. People are fat because they’re lazy, gluttonous, or both. If they really wanted to, they’d lose the weight. Ergo, they’re fat because they choose to be.

In some cases, there’s truth here. When I switched from a job fixing computers throughout a six-story building to one where I sit at a desk all day, I gained weight. I could have added exercise to my life to make up for the walking I wasn’t doing anymore, but for a long time, I didn’t.

However–and this may come as a shock–people are different. Not everyone’s body works the same. I know people who eat healthy and play high-intensity racketball for 2-3 hours a night, 3-5 nights a week, but are heavier than me. My wife knows enough about dieting and healthy lifestyle to teach that Lincoln class, yet despite living a much healthier life than me, she struggles with her weight more than I ever have. But she’s the one who would be punished by Lincoln’s arbitrary policy.

Do the folks at Lincoln really think fat people haven’t picked up on the fact that society thinks they’re horribly unhealthy and undesirable? That’s not a problem. To pick one study, “[o]ver half of the females studied between ages eighteen and twenty-five would prefer to be run over by a truck than to be fat.”¹ (Emphasis added).

I’m sure Lincoln’s intentions were good. They’re trying to help people be healthy. Healthy = thin! Everyone must be thin! (By the way, an APA study found the death rate for eating disorders to be between 5 and 20 percent.² But at least they died thin!)

If you want to add a class on lifestyle and healthy eating, that’s one thing. Having seen what people pay for diets and weight loss programs, the class should fill up fast. But to force everyone with a BMI of 30 to take your class, or else they can’t graduate? Sorry, Lincoln. Your bigotry and ignorance are showing. Just ask the the Mayo Clinic:

“[O]verweight patients had better survival rates and fewer heart problems than those with a normal BMI. This apparently perverse result, drawn from data from 40 studies covering 250,000 people with heart disease, did not suggest that obesity was not a health threat but rather that the 100-year-old BMI test was too blunt an instrument to be trusted.” ³ (Emphasis added).

Can obesity be a health risk? Sometimes, sure. But if you think that gives us the right to judge, condemn, and punish everyone who doesn’t conform to our screwed-up ideal of human beauty? Well, I’m planning a mandatory logic class for everyone with an HUA (Head Up Ass) score greater than 30, and you just qualified.

—

Gaesser, Glenn A., Big Fat Lies. (2001). ↩
“Practice Guidelines for Eating Disorders,” American Journal of Psychiatry 150(2) (1993). ↩
“Body Mass Index (BMI) Badly Flawed.” http://www.preventdisease.com/news/articles/081806_bmi.shtml (2006). ↩

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Zombie Rhymes: Jack and Jill

2009-11-25T14:31:21Z

Dead Jack and Jill
by Jim C. Hines

Jack and Jill
shambled uphill
to catch their old friend Fred.

Jack fell down
and cracked his crown
So Jill ate him instead.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Cover Contest Voting

2009-11-25T13:02:08Z

It's time to choose a winner. Please vote for your favorite title suggestions below. Winner gets an autographed copy of The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy].

View Poll: Vote for your favorites

Voting ends, oh, let's say at the end of the week. Have fun, and thanks to everyone who offered suggestions!

---
*Yes, this one is more of a quote than a title, but I hear this one in Pumbaa's voice every time I read it, and it makes me smile.

SF Novelists Day

2009-11-24T14:31:21Z

• Interested in a custom-painted mini of Jig the goblin? Garden Ninja has offered one for bidding here to benefit Tu Publishing, a publisher focusing on multicultural SF and fantasy for children and young adults.

• Mel Grant’s cover sketch for Red Hood’s Revenge showed up in my e-mail today. My biggest fear was that switching artists in mid-series would mean book three wouldn’t be recognizable as a princess book. While I did have some feedback on the cover, I’m feeling better about this fear now. He obviously worked very closely from the earlier covers, and it shows. I’ll share the finished art with you all just as soon as I can.

• Today was my day to post at SF Novelists. I used this month’s post to talk about humor (and to plug the 2009 SF/F Humor Roundup): http://www.sfnovelists.com/2009/11/24/sff-humor-roundup/

Finally, your LEGO fix. I went small scale on this week’s pic, which comes from LEGOWOW. This is another set that you really need to see close-up to appreciate. I don’t know which impresses me more, the guitars themselves or the detail on the amps. Click the pic for the full photo set.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Why My Books are Not My Babies

2009-11-23T14:30:12Z

From time to time, you come across authors talking about how their books are their babies. I’ve been thinking about the release of The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], and decided to see how well the analogy holds up.

Part 1: Creation. It took me one year to finish the manuscript that would become The Mermaid’s Madness, and that’s without my editor’s revision requests. It took me mumble minutes to finish … er … well, to finish my part in the creation of what would become my child. (On the other hand, at least my wife didn’t ask for revisions!)

Part 2: Prepublication. It takes roughly nine months for a human baby to develop and be born. It took about ten months for finished copies of Mermaid to start showing up in bookstores. In both case, you have some beautiful milestones along the way. The first ultrasound and the first glimpse of your cover art. Preparing the baby’s room, and redesigning the web site to make room for the new book. The baby analogy holds up better here.

Part 3: Release. Labor is not a fun experience. We were back and forth to the hospital several times. The doctors tried and failed to induce labor. In the end, both of my children were born via C-section, basically cutting my wife open and tugging the kids out. This is not a gentle process, folks. It was like trying to remove a basketball from a too-tight package. The books, on the other hand? My publisher shipped ’em to me in a Fed Ex. box.

Part 4: The Real World. Very few people will tell you your newborn baby looks like a cross between a bulldog and a California Raisin. People have no such reluctance when it comes to reviewing your new book. The real baby is snuggled, fed, burped, bathed, and rocked to sleep. Your books will receive no such love. Some will be forgotten in the back room. Others will linger on the shelves, along with tens of thousands of others. Those lucky enough to find a home will have their spines cracked, and after a brief relationship, will end up squeezed onto a bookshelf and left there for months or years to come.

Part 5: Letting Go. Your baby will likely be with you for at least 18 years. Your book? You’ll be lucky if it’s still on the bookstore shelves to celebrate its first birthday. Within a month, many of those books will be setting out on their new career: stripping. Front covers are wantonly ripped away in an orgy of shelf reorganization, and soon you’ll find these prematurely aged paperbacks discarded in back alley dumpsters.

Part 6: The Next Child. I’ll be honest, I rarely think about Mermaid these days. I’m lavishing all of my love and affection on Snow Queen. This will be my seventh book. I hope to pop out at least thirty over the course of my career. Forget octomom, I wanna be tridecadad! Children, on the other hand? I love both of my children dearly, but I don’t know whether I could handle a third.

In conclusion, myth busted. A book is not a baby. Tune in next week when I talk about how dingos ate my book.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Blurb Ethics

2009-11-21T14:31:00Z

• Thank you to everyone who’s offered new and autographed books for the DV Book Drive. I’ll be continuing to collect books through about mid-December, at which point they will be delivered to the shelter.

• I’m still taking entries into the Mock Cover Contest, too. I’ll pick the top entries and put those up for a vote early next week.

Way back when, after I sold Goldfish Dreams to a small publisher, I started hunting for blurbs. I was fortunate to get some great ones, but I remember the individual who e-mailed to say he hadn’t read the entire book, but offered a blurb anyway. Better still, when I pointed out that his blurb contained spoilers, he invited me to just rewrite it however I saw fit.

I’d like to say I took the ethical path and declined. Alas, I was young and desperate. I rewrote the blurb, e-mailed it to him for approval, and slapped his name on it. I rationalize it by saying at least he approved the blurb, but it’s not my proudest moment as an author.

Years later, I was reading Julie Czerneda’s comments about blurbs. I can’t remember exactly how she said it, but I came away thinking of blurbs as a contract, a matter of trust between reader and author. If a blurb from me has any impact at all, it will be because you’ve read my work, and you trust me as an author. You trust that I wouldn’t recommend something I didn’t like.

Over the past few years, I’ve begun getting more blurb requests, which means I’ve had to decide how I’m going to approach this. I find myself thinking about that blurb I got for Goldfish Dreams, and the one I got from Julie for Goblin Quest [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy]. Guess which one means more to me? Guess which of these two individuals I want to be like.

That’s led to some uncomfortable moments. I’ve had to tell several friends that I couldn’t blurb their books for one reason or another. Sometimes the book just didn’t work for me. That makes for an awkward conversation, but I also try to be honest.

I had a different experience a few months back. Jennifer Estep sent me an ARC of Spider’s Bite [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], which comes out in January.

It’s not a bad book. I like the idea of using elemental magic in urban fantasy. Gin has the strong female thing going, which I generally enjoy. And the story is definitely a page-turner.

I still declined to blurb it, and a part of me continues to wonder if I’m overthinking it. Spider’s Bite, like a fair amount of urban fantasy, is a pretty “adult” book. There’s violence and bloodshed, as well as fairly graphic sexual content. It’s a very different style than my own work, and that’s where I hesitated.

If my name were to show up on the cover, what would that signal to my readers? What expectations does that create? Will someone pick up this book expecting light, fun fantasy like Jim Hines writes?

I’m sure there’s overlap between Estep’s readers and my own. People read a wide range. And It’s not like my blurb is going to scar some innocent, wide-eyed young reader for life by tricking them into reading sex and violence.

But I wasn’t comfortable with it, and I’m continuing to try to understand where that’s coming from. On that note, I would love to hear your thoughts on blurbs. What is and isn’t appropriate, what works and what doesn’t, and so on. As an author, where would you draw the line? As a reader, what makes you lose trust with a blurbing author?

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

DV Book Drive

2009-11-19T14:31:23Z

For several years now, I’ve run a book drive around the holidays to collect books for a local domestic violence shelter.

On Tuesday, I wrote briefly about the value of books and stories as an escape, however temporary. Going to a domestic violence shelter is never an easy choice. It can be even harder around the holidays, especially if you have children. It’s hard to think about presents when you’re worried about your safety and trying to figure out how to start your life over from scratch.

To my author friends, if you would be willing to donate one or more autographed books, those books will be given to victims of domestic violence and their children. You’ll be providing gifts for people who probably don’t expect them this year, and more importantly, your books can give a temporary escape from the stress and fear.

I’m also accepting donations of unsigned, new books from anyone who cares to donate. In previous years I’ve also taken used books, but I’m told we’ve filled the bookshelves at both local shelters to the bursting point (which is pretty dang cool–thank you!). So for the moment I’m only asking for new books.

Please contact me if you’d be willing to contribute.

Linkbacks and retweets are also very much appreciated.

Thank you.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

The Nebula Thing

2009-11-17T14:30:54Z

• Still taking title suggestions for the mock urban fantasy cover contest. And for anyone who missed it, that entry inspired Paul Abbamondi to do his own urban fantasy mock-up with Jig in a traditional cover pose. Click to view the awesomeness.

So Nebula recommendations are now open for all works published from July 1, 2008 through the end of this year. I was actually surprised to see how much I had that qualified. Being the trend-following guy I am, I figured what the heck.

Novels:

The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy]
The Stepsister Scheme [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy]

Novelette:

“Red’s Tale” in The Faery Taile Project. November, 2008.

Short Stories:

“The Creature in Your Neighborhood” in Strip Mauled. September, 2009.
“Mightier than the Sword” in Gamer Fantastic. July, 2009.
“The Red Path” in Terribly Twisted Tales. May, 2009.
“Gift of the Kites” in Clarkesworld Magazine. October, 2008.
“Original Gangster” in Fantasy Magazine. September, 2008.
“Images of Death” in Imaginary Friends. September, 2008.
“The Eyes of Ra” in Cat Tales. September, 2008.
“Ours to Fight For” in Realms of Fantasy. August, 2008.

If you’re in SFWA and are interested in reading any of these, including the novels, please let me know.

More importantly, I wanted to use this as a reminder about the 2009 Humorous SF/F Roundup. I will continue to add qualifying works to the list until the end of 2009.

The prevailing attitude is that humor and comedy are somehow lesser works. (Much like SF/F in general is often viewed as lesser–mere escapism.)

I’ve received mail from people in hospitals with dying relatives, people dealing with death, divorce, and other crises, and I can tell you this–escapism matters. Humor matters. Reading a well-written book that allows you to escape the pain and stress for a few hours, that might even allow you to smile or laugh for the first time in weeks–it matters.

For that reason, I would love to see one or more humorous pieces make the ballot this year.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Mock Cover Contest

2009-11-16T13:31:05Z

Windycon was a great deal of fun, as always. Got to meet some new folks and catch up with friends … I didn’t have much programming, so in a lot of ways this one turned into a social con for me. Many hugs, lots of hanging out chatting in the lobby and elsewhere. Met some new fans, but managed to keep the ego from getting too swollen (despite certain people’s best efforts). All in all, a good way to spend a weekend.

I learned that the steampunk theme brings out a lot of costumers, which was fun to see. Got to hear Tom Smith in concert, ate way too much food, and made it to one and a quarter of my two panels. (DAW vs. Baen was cross-scheduled with the Writing Workshop, so sadly I only caught the last 10 minutes of the panel.)

One of the most entertaining moments was when author Kelly Swails donned a Jig the goblin tattoo and decided to pose urban fantasy style, complete with a knife she swiped from the restaurant. Naturally, this called for the full cover art treatment. I’m obviously not a professional graphic designer, but I’m pretty amused by what I was able to put together last night*.

Every good goblin-themed urban fantasy requires an equally good title, right? “Goblin Killer Blues” was suggested by archivist Lynne Thomas. Think you can do better? Suggest a title in the comments, and I’ll put the best ideas up for a vote. The winner gets an autographed copy of The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy].

Have fun!

—
*Because this is the Internet and I know someone will ask, the answer is no, I am not writing a goblin-themed urban fantasy book.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Windycon Schedule Tweak and Friday LEGO

2009-11-13T15:46:22Z

• Looking at my schedule for this weekend more closely, I’m doing the writing workshop at the same time as the DAW vs. Baen panel, so unless we have last-minute dropouts from the workshop, it looks like I’ll be missing that panel. I’m sad about this, because it had the potential to be … well, lively, if nothing else.

• Since I am doing the “What Kids are Reading” panel on Sunday, I thought I’d open things up to suggestions. What do you think are the must-read kid titles of 2009? I’ve got some ideas, but there’s always room for more. (I may compile a full list of suggested books after the panel and post that next week, if folks would be interested?)

• My annual domestic violence book drive will be starting next week. Details to come.

• Finally, dear NASA — please build this. (Only, you know, out of genuine spaceworthy materials instead of LEGO.) This is the Carl Sagan, a mindblowing collaborative project between Lego Monster and Mad Physicist. It even has its own shuttles! One picture does not do this sucker justice. Click the pic for the full set.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Updatery

2009-11-12T14:30:58Z

• First off, a quote from author C. C. Finlay: “The third law of writing: For every fiction there is an equal and opposite re-fiction. For example, if there is The Hobbit, eventually someone will inevitably write Goblin Quest.” I am much amused.

• The SF/F Humor Roundup is up to 22 short stories and 12 novels. So far, so good! I’m working on guidelines to try to cut down on blatant self-promotion. I don’t mind authors recommending their own work, but I don’t want a list of 30 stories from every online nook and cranny. I’m thinking of limiting self-promotional recommendations to one short story and/or one novel. What do you think?

• I’ll be heading to Windycon tomorrow. I’ve got the Manly Baen vs. Womanly DAW panel Saturday at 10, an autographing session Saturday at 2, What are Kids Reading on Sunday at 10, and I’ll be reading my muppet werewolf tale on Sunday at Noon. Hope to see some of you there!

I realized I haven’t done an actual writing update in a while. After finishing the revisions for Red Hood’s Revenge, I started back in on Snow Queen. I struggled through the current chapter, but it was painful. The whole thing felt like it was stuck, and I had no idea where to go from here.

Some of the more experienced writers probably know exactly where I’m at in this manuscript. That’s right, it’s the dreaded 30,000 word slog. Every book I’ve done for the past five years has hit this same point, where my outline falls apart and the story crashes and burns.

Fortunately, I’ve done this enough times to recognize it. The solution for me? Step back and rewrite the outline. When I’m first planning a book, my brain can’t hold the whole thing. So I outline and do the best I can, but by the time I’ve typed 25K-30K words, I’ve changed enough that the outline no longer works.

I’ve spent the past week outlining, and I’m just about ready to dive back in. I’m not going to start over from the beginning, because I’ve found that just wastes time for me. But I’ve made notes about what to change in the rewrite, and more importantly, I’m excited about some of the new ideas and directions I’m taking in the rest of the story. I’m also surprised to realize I don’t know how this book is going to end. I honestly don’t know whether or not certain characters will survive. That’s kind of fun

So there’s where I’m at with the writing. Book three is done, book four is underway, and the back of my brain is quietly percolating ideas for the next series.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Diabetes Details 5: Exercise

2009-11-11T13:32:08Z

Last night I spent two hours at karate. (Got my promotion form for 3rd brown belt — woo hoo!) It was a good workout, but the class only meets once a week, so I’ve started trying to ride the exercise bike a few times a week too.

There are a few reasons for this. My day job is very sedentary. I spend all day sitting at a desk answering questions, and then I come home and sit at a different desk and try to catch up on writing-related work. (If you’re going to do the writing thing, it’s a good idea to do something active, just to keep your body from atrophying altogether. /Soapbox)

I’m also doing it for my mood. Yesterday was a craptastic day at work. Two hours at karate, and I was completely past it. Today was worse. A half-hour of pedalling and watching The Daily Show, and I’m in a much better space.

Finally, exercise is good for the diabetes. The disease heightens the chances of trouble with the majority of your internal organs, so exercise is a good idea to help counteract that.

But there’s a problem. You see, a good aerobic workout affects your metabolism for 24 hours or more. In my case, it’s a very noticeable effect, because it means I need less insulin for at least 24 hours after riding the bike.

If I were to get the same amount of exercise every single day, I’d be all set. I’d just need to adjust my baseline dosage for post-workout mode, and remember to take less insulin at meals. But because I can’t do this every day, it means I get the joy of trying to manage two baseline rates, as well as calculating two dosage ratios at meals.

Add to this the fact that my insulin needs vary from day to day anyway, depending on stress, exhaustion, activity, the phase of the moon, and Shadowstar only knows what else. So the exercise throws yet another variable into the mix. I’m pretty good at estimating my needs, but it’s not an exact science.

The ironic part? Exercise usually helps you lose weight, right? Over the past month, as I’ve tried to sort out the new dosages, I’ve probably gained weight because I keep dosing too aggressively for post-exercise mode, which drops my blood sugar, which then requires the prompt application of M&Ms.

It really is a rude disease. But the exercise has been a good thing overall, both emotionally and physically. I may need to keep testing more often, but I’ll get this sorted out eventually. And in the meantime, hey–how often do you get a medically valid excuse to eat chocolate?

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Top 10 Books of 2009 (Girls Need Not Apply)

2009-11-09T17:01:18Z

By now, I imagine many of you have seen Publishers Weekly’s roundup of the ten very best books of 2009, a list which just happens to only include male authors. Sure, the girls made it into some of the secondary lists, but the ten best? All boys.

I would also check out Lizzie Skurnick’s response at Politics Daily, which included this bit from PW: “We wanted the list to reflect what we thought were the top 10 books of the year with no other consideration . . . We ignored gender and genre and who had the buzz . . . It disturbed us when we were done that our list was all male.”

So here’s my question: What should PW have done when they realized they had come up with an all-male list?

We pause now for the predictable response.

“You keep your quotas off of us, you damn, dirty PC police!”

Right. Moving on, the thing I don’t get is that the folks at PW say they were disturbed by this, but they don’t appear to have done anything about it. Did they ever take that next step and ask, “Why, if we were truly ignoring gender, did we still come up with an all-male list? We’re talking less than a 1 in 1000 chance of this happening purely at random*, which suggests maybe we weren’t as gender-blind as we thought.”

Our own biases are hard to face. It’s easier and safer to turn the blame outward or make excuses:

It’s just one list, and we have girls in some of the others!
Maybe more men published good books this year.
It’s the story that counts, not the gender/race/etc. of the author.
Women helped to make this list, so it can’t be sexist!
Maybe women should be proactive and start writing better books!

I could go on and on listing reasons that basically amount to “It’s not my fault,” and “I’m not sexist!” We could spend the whole month debunking most of those reasons.

But in the end, Publishers Weekly published this list. They were aware enough to recognize something wasn’t right, and I give them props for that. But that’s much easier than actually taking responsibility. We can say, “Oh look, a list of all men. That’s gonna be a problem, because those bloggers are going to raise hell that we didn’t include a token woman.”

Or we can stop making excuses and try being accountable for our own choices and behaviors. We can say, “I tried to be gender-blind about this, but ended up with an all-male list. Huh. I didn’t consciously try to pick only male authors, but maybe I’m not as gender-blind or unbiased as I thought.”

Nobody’s asking for quotas. Me, I’m just asking people to grow up and take responsibility for their choices. Yes, we’re talking about an industry-wide issue that affects publishing on many different levels. But the industry is made up of individuals, and every one of us, myself included, has our own biases and prejudices. We can ignore them and make the same tired excuses, or we can face them and try to do better.

We all mess up. I just wish more folks would own up to it when it happens.

—
*Assuming a 50/50 breakdown of male and female authors.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

2009 SF/F Humor Roundup is Live!

2009-11-07T18:37:50Z

Here we go! This is the link for the 2009 roundup of humorous science fiction and fantasy. Let this be the first step toward a new age, an age in which humorous books can walk proudly beside their literary brothers and sisters, an age in which puns and nose-picking jokes shall be treated with the respect and accolades they deserve!

http://www.jimchines.com/humor-2009/

If you’ve read some amusing science fiction or fantasy from this year, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list!

If you’ve written something funny, same deal–but please note that I’m only listing work that appeared in paid/commercial publications. And no, that $1.00 advance from Publish America doesn’t count.

Finally, if you have feedback on the page itself, please let me know. This is a work in progress, and will probably evolve as it goes.

Please feel free to spread the word to anyone you think might be interested, and thanks!

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Friday Updates

2009-11-06T13:31:14Z

• As insane as this week has been at work, it’s been a very good writing week. I just found out that my German publisher is picking up both Mermaid’s Madness and Red Hood’s Revenge. Excellent!

• Also exciting, Red Hood’s Revenge is up for pre-order on Amazon! I’m told it’s been there for a few weeks, which shows how distracted I’ve been. Normally my obsessive surfing habits would have uncovered that much more quickly.

• Neil Gaiman has given me permission to make T-shirts of my 20 Neil Gaiman Facts. All that remains is to decide where. I’m leaning toward Zazzle over CafePress, but I’m open to suggestions–any experiences with these or other online vendors, good or bad?

• Based on your responses, I’ll definitely be doing the 2009 SF/F Humor Roundup. It shouldn’t take too long to put together; I just need to make the time to sit down and do it. Hopefully by this time next week…

• Finally, your weekly LEGO. Anyone who’s seen Howl’s Moving Castle should recognize this one, built by Imagine’s Brickzone. (And anyone who hasn’t should go rent the movie.) Click the pic for the full Flickr set, including a better view of Turnip Head there on the right.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

The Enchantment Emporium, by Tanya Huff

2009-11-05T14:50:20Z

Happy news!!! The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy] was the #1 paperback bestseller at both Mysterious Galaxy and Uncle Hugo’s–two wonderful and well-known SF/F bookstores–for the month of October!

I just finished reading The Enchantment Emporium [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy] the latest novel by Tanya Huff. I consider myself a pretty big fan of Huff’s work. She was doing awesome urban vampires when Stephenie Meyer was still learning to type. I love her Keeper series, her military SF … yeah, I’m a fan.

In many ways, The Enchantment Emporium feels like a typical Huff book. You’ve got the strong female protagonist, Allie Gale, a witch who inherits her grandmother’s shop when grandmother disappears. You’ve got fun, interesting secondary characters popping up. You’ve got the snappy dialogue, the humor, the Canadian setting, and all of the little touches that make a good story even more fun to read (I loved the yo-yos!) Allie is away from her family for the first time, trying to find out what happened to her grandmother while dealing with an immanent dragon invasion and worse.

Warning — minor spoilers follow!

I’m still thinking about this one, and would love to hear from anyone else who’s read the book. I think my biggest hesitation comes from the intertwining of sexuality and magic, and the way that’s written. The Gale family of witches is … let’s call them highly liberal. Like the royals of old, there’s a lot of inbreeding, mostly to keep the magic strong within the family. I’m okay with that part of the story. It makes sense, and it’s hinted several times that the Gales aren’t 100% human. Different species, different taboos, right?

But then you have scenes of group spellcasting, where the males go rather staglike from so much power, and have to be brought back down, sexually. I.e., “That was a big ritual. I’d better do Bob to keep him from exploding.”

Like I said, I’m still thinking about it. The characters are all written to be open and comfortable with the situation. So what happens between consenting adult mostly-human witches shouldn’t be a problem, right? But I guess the fact that magic essentially forced them into sex troubles me, and I wish Huff had gone a little deeper into that.

I’ve heard complaints that there isn’t enough explanation or exposition about the magic system, other dimensions, and so on, but I didn’t have that problem. I think most experienced fantasy readers will be okay, but newcomers to the genre might be better off starting with one of Huff’s other works.

So if you’ve read the book, what did you think? If you haven’t but read the whole post anyway, I still want to know what you think

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Annual Roundup of Humorous SF/F

2009-11-04T13:31:05Z

October kicked my ass, but man, what a ride. The Mermaid’s Madness [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy] came out at the start of the month. I did my first-ever guest of honor stint at Icon. There were signings and readings. I also did a final revision on Red Hood’s Revenge, which I turned in on Sunday (woo hoo!)

I’m probably going to be playing catch-up for a while longer, but wanted to talk about one of the panel discussions we had at Icon, about humor in science fiction and fantasy. I’ve thought about this a fair amount, having published a number of rather silly stories over the years. One of the things we chatted about was the style of humor in some SF/F stories and circles–the puns, the in-jokes, the puns, the Star Wars and Monty Python quotes, the puns…

One of the reasons I think a lot of us enjoy this sort of thing, whether it’s competitive punning or protesting, “You keep using that word–I do not think it means what you think it means,” is that it’s a group identity thing. It’s a shibboleth, a way to identify fellow geeks, to affirm that yes, I belong. Every family has its quirks, its unique language and vocabulary. Geek humor serves the same purpose.

Another thing we discussed is the fact that humor is hard to write well. Trying to balance the funny with the needs of the story, learning where humor will have the most effect in a story, using it as a counterpoint to the serious moments to balance and strengthen both … there’s a lot to learn.

Sadly for those of us who broke in with bunny knives and nose-picking goblins, humor doesn’t get taken that seriously. (Go figure, right?) I’m not saying every pun-filled title deserves to be on the New York Times Bestseller List, but can someone explain to me why the heck Terry Pratchett hasn’t taken home a Hugo or a Nebula yet?

So I’m thinking about starting a roundup of humorous stories and books published in a given year, including links and information to make it easy for anyone nominating or voting on the Hugo and Nebula to read the funny stuff that’s eligible.

Sure, this is partly self-serving, as it gives me the chance to share my muppet werewolf story. (On that note, if you’re in SFWA or registered for Worldcon, and if you’re interested, please let me know and I’ll e-mail you a copy of “Creature in Your Neighborhood”.) But I think it would be good to build more awareness and recognition for the humorous side of the genre and the writers doing it well.

For now, this would probably be a page on my site that I’d maintain myself. I’m thinking of restricting it to paid publications–an arbitrary choice that would eliminate self-published stories, but something I’m willing to reconsider.

So, thoughts about humor in general or an annual humor round-up in particular? Good idea? Lame idea? Pitfalls I should be aware of?

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Deadline Crunch

2009-10-31T01:19:16Z

Red Hood’s Revenge is not done yet. Red Hood’s Revenge needs to be done. Ergo, I will be unplugging (mostly) until this sucker is turned in. I probably should have done this a few days ago, but ah well.

Have a great Halloween, all. In the spirit of the holiday, have a haunted house, courtesy of Starwarsboy5. Click the pic for the full set, as usual.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Moderation Policy

2009-10-29T23:20:49Z

Apparently it's time to clarify the moderation policy here.

Some of the things I post about can be touchy, whether it's sexual assault or copyright debates.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me or with each other. I do expect that sometimes people will get angry, and that discussion can become rather passionate.

I also expect people to treat one another with some respect.

When that respect is gone, and when people are no longer listening but just calling each other bitches or assholes, and generally just trying to prove mine's bigger than yours is, I tend to freeze that comment thread. Usually I'll post a reply as well, both as a warning and to clarify why the thread is being shut down.

It ain't personal. I shut down the entire thread, not just an individual commenter, and I don't ban anyone for getting carried away. We've all done it at one time or another.

If you choose to take it personally, and to simply move your abuse to other comment threads, or better yet, to respond by e-mailing me such creative and original comments as "Fuck you" and "Die in a fire," well, at that point you're likely to get yourself banned. You're free to continue to express such sentiments, of course--but not here.

99% of the time, the folks who hang out here are absolutely wonderful. I love the discussions, and I learn an awful lot from all of you.

.99% of the time, things get heated, and I have to step in and freeze a thread. I don't like having to intervene like that, but I'll do it in order to keep this as a space where people can discuss and disagree and continue to have such great conversations.

.01% of the time ... well, that would be tonight, which marks the first time I've ever had to ban someone from my blog.

I'd prefer not to have to do it a second time, 'kay?

Rapists and Abusers

2009-10-29T13:31:49Z

I’ve been reading various discussions about the gang-rape of a 15-year-old girl in California and the aftermath. (Warning: the article is intense and potentially triggering.) One constant, as with almost every such conversation, has been the mindset when it comes to rapists and abusers.

There’s a strong sense of us vs. them. How could they do this? How could the bystanders just watch? I’ve come across various theories–they were poor and desperate, they were in a gang, they were drunk…

We want our villains to be easy to identify, like on TV. We recognize the bad guys the instant they enter a scene, complete with foreboding music. We cringe as the poor victim is attacked, but we rest easy knowing we were smart enough to recognize the villain for what he was. He’s one of them. Because humanity is broken into two distinct groups:

There’s a clear boundary between the groups. That works for me, because it excuses me from having to worry about my own behavior. I’ve never gang-raped a girl. I’ve never beaten my wife. I’m safely in the “normal” circle.

It’s comfortable. The evil rapists and abusers are over there, and us normal folks are over here.

Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work like that. People don’t fall neatly into categories. I’ve found it more helpful to look at behavior, like so:

There’s no “us” vs. “them.” No neat boundary separating good guys from bad. We all fall somewhere on the curve, and that position isn’t constant. Do you think the guys who gang-raped that girl woke up one morning and decided to be rapists? In most cases, it’s a behavior that changes over time, moving further and further to the right side of the curve.

One day it’s a shouting match with my girlfriend. Maybe I use body language to intimidate her into backing down. Eventually, when that doesn’t work, I grab her. Not hard enough to bruise, just enough to let her know who’s boss. A month later, I’ve stopped being quite so careful about the bruising. Step by step, my behavior becomes more abusive.

Likewise with rape. Maybe it starts by trying to pick up a girl at the bar. Trying to talk a woman into going home with you is just part of the game, right? If that fails, I can buy her a few more drinks to loosen her up. Then maybe a few more–it was her own choice to get drunk, right? Or maybe I just spike the drinks to speed things along…

Our society has strong attitudes about what it means to be a man. Real men are strong and in control. We go after the things we want. We’re assertive, even aggressive when necessary. We’re determined, and we don’t take no for an answer. Given all that, do you think it’s coincidence that men commit 95% of rapes?

How could they stand by, refusing to call 911 while a girl was raped in front of them? We’ve all stood by and done nothing at one point or another. Every one of us has heard someone making sexist comments and failed to call them on it. We’ve wondered if someone was being abused, but kept silent because we didn’t know what to say or how to ask.

If your response to all this is “But I’m not a rapist,” “All men aren’t rapists,” or the ever-popular, “Why do you hate men?” congratulations–you’ve missed the point. It’s not about you. It’s about recognizing that the “me” vs. “those people” approach doesn’t really work for understanding or ending rape and abuse.

Discussion welcome, as always.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Book Roundup

2009-10-28T15:30:57Z

I picked up a copy of Kelly McCullough’s Cybermancy [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], in the dealer’s room this weekend and read it on the plane ride home. I reviewed WebMage [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], earlier this year, and Cybermancy was even better (which is how it should be).

Basically, if you liked the first book, you should definitely pick up the second. Cybermancy brings back magical hacker Raven/Ravirn and his webgoblin companion and throws them into even more trouble than last time. It’s got the same fast pacing, the same humor, but McCullough also shows a more serious side, taking an unflinching look at the story of Persephone. I really appreciated his take on that one. Ravirn’s relationship angst felt a little too predictable, but nowhere near as bad as your average sitcom, and overall I really liked this one. Book three is already on my wish list

Other new books to check out:

Bitter Night [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], by Diana P Francis. Book one of the Horngate Witches Books.

Indigo Springs [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], by A.M. Dellamonica. Read the first chapter here.

By the Mountain Bound [Amazon | Mysterious Galaxy], by Elizabeth Bear. This is the prequel to All the Windwracked Stars.

So, anyone have any thoughts or comments on these? If not, what else is out there that we should all be reading?

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.