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Modern SF Novelist

This turned out to be a little more challenging than I expected when I started, but I perservered. Why? Because I love you. And also because I'm stubborn :-)

If you enjoy, please feel free to share. All I ask is that you credit me as the author, and maybe include a link either here or to my web site.


I am the Very Model of a Modern SF Novelist

I am the very model of a modern SF novelist,
I've manuscripts space opera, anime, and fantasist,
I know the kings of fandom and the best flamewars historical
From Andrew Burt to LiveJournal, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too, with matters editorial,
I keep my cover letters brief and never too suctorial,
About rejection etiquette I'm teeming with propriety,
With many cheerful facts about your online notoriety,
I'm very good at worldbuilding and proper use of ansibles;
I know the hyphenated names of beings unpronounceable:
In short, in matters space opera, anime, and fantasist,
I am the very model of a modern SF novelist.

I know our genre history, from H. G. Wells to Arthur Clarke,
I've read so much time travel, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in panel talks the wise advice of Crispin and Miss Snark,
I study wormholes, galaxies and theories about matter dark;
I can tell a work professional from books Publish America,
I know the Eye of Argon from Conan of Cimmeria!
Then I can hum the melody from every last John Williams score,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal film Fantastic Four.
I'll write you books of goblin war and princesses who won't conform,
And tell show you every detail of a goblin warrior's uniform:
In short, in matters space opera, anime, and fantasist,
I am the very model of a modern SF novelist.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "grok" and "droid" and "FTL",
When I can tell at sight the sword Excalibur from Anduril,
When twists in stories I perceive by reading just one paragraph,
And when I know precisely how to pen a clever epigraph,
When I have followed breakthroughs yearly in e-book technology,
When I know more of grammar than my profs from University--
In short, when you run out and buy and read every last book by me--
You'll say a better novelist has never writ a fantasy.
My works even appear in many dialects European,
Thanks to the perserverence of my agent JABberwockian;
In short, in matters space opera, anime, and fantasist,
I am the very model of a modern SF novelist.



This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

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Comments

( 98 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 4
<<[1] [2] [3] [4] >>
antonstrout
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
*kneels before Zod, err, Jim.*

We're not worthy, we're not worthyyyyy!
mela_lyn
Jul. 18th, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
Kneels next to Anton... *circumflects & bows*
controuble
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:50 pm (UTC)
Awesome!!!!
*LMAO*
ginasketch
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:50 pm (UTC)
hahaha that's brilliant!
(Deleted comment)
jimhines
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
Parody is fair use, and this has got to be one of the most oft-parodied songs in history.

Also, would they be the fast zombies or the slow ones? Just so I know what supplies to pack.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - jimhines - Jul. 17th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
jackiekessler
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:54 pm (UTC)
BRAVO!!!
pnkrokhockeymom
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
omgwtfbbqftw.

You Win The Day. I hereby award it to you.
jimhines
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)
My very own Thursday? Dang ... I should have held out for a Friday!
(no subject) - pnkrokhockeymom - Jul. 17th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
maryrobinette
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
Bravo!
jtglover
Jul. 17th, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)
Hurrah! Brilliant.
chris_gerrib
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
Bravo Zulu (military-speak for "well done")
tithenai
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
This is awesome! I've been directed to great posts of yours before, but this takes the cake.
michaeldthomas
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
*Applauds Wildly*

Wonderful. Simply wonderful.


jadesfire55
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
Haha! That's awesome and brilliant! Totally made my day. :)
robinbridges
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)
Too wicked. Now you need a video for YouTube. :)
jimhines
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
Anything's possible... (Read the comments thread.)

Edited at 2008-07-17 03:17 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - robinbridges - Jul. 17th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
jimhines
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
Crap. Just four more shades, and I would have scored a full Crayola of awesome!
(no subject) - corvidophile - Jul. 17th, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jimhines - Jul. 17th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
p_sunshine
Jul. 17th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
LOL - that's awesome
Page 1 of 4
<<[1] [2] [3] [4] >>
( 98 comments — Leave a comment )

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Jim C. Hines
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