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20 Neil Gaiman Facts

  1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
  2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
  3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
  4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check.  Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
  5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen.  In fifteen minutes.  He won two Hugo awards for it.
  6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
  7. Most agents charge a 15% commission.  Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
  8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
  9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
  10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse.  The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
  11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
  12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
  13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book.  This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
  14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
  15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
  16. Hitler actually won World War II.  Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
  17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view.  Neil Gaiman lives it.
  18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
  19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
  20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending.  However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


( 190 comments — Leave a comment )
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Sep. 7th, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
The great thing is, Neil Gaiman will see this and love it. He won't admonish you for posting it, because of nutso religious beliefs.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:24 pm (UTC)
Nutso religious beliefs ... oh, you mean regarding #20? I hope not. That was one of my favorites :-)
(no subject) - machineiv - Sep. 7th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jimhines - Sep. 7th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you! This is what my brain does to unwind.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
LOL!!! Awesome!
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:26 pm (UTC)
Not as awesome as modded Nerf guns! I need to figure out how to remove the air resistance things you mentioned. (I've got the same gun as you, but mine is unmodified.)
(no subject) - jennreese - Sep. 7th, 2009 04:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jimhines - Sep. 7th, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tsubaki_ny - Sep. 7th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
I laughed so hard and for so long at #3 that I scared my daughter.

This is fantastic. I will be reposting and crediting you all over the intertubes.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! #3 was the only one that was based on one of the Chuck Norris facts:

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

I like the writing version better :-)
(no subject) - filamena - Sep. 7th, 2009 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Sep. 8th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 2nd, 2010 09:20 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:30 pm (UTC)
seven made me laugh for reasons I won't go into.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
Love the entire list, but #14, in particular, cracked me up.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you! #14 was actually a last-minute addition.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
True story: Neil Gaiman once signed my teenage daughter's book. The next person in line told him it was my daughter's birthday (quite true). Neil called her back and made an enormous fuss of her before moving on. She smiled the rest of the day.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC)
I haven't hung out with the man, but everything I've seen and heard about him put him squarely in the Classy Author category.
(no subject) - shsilver - Sep. 7th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - cathellisen - Sep. 7th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - b_writes - Sep. 7th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! This is wonderful! I need to share this with all I know! Well, those I know who read Neil!
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome. Glad you liked it!
(no subject) - herk227 - Sep. 8th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC)
I am absolutely delighted at the idea of Neil with a Heisman Trophy. Let's make it happen.
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
#21 - When they transferred all of Chuck Norris' movies to DVD, they re-dubbed his dialogue using Neil Gaiman's voice.
Sep. 7th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
Awesome :D

DH, DD (who hadn't quite learned to walk yet), and I once met Neil Gaiman at a book signing. He was so nice, and the reason the line-up moved so slowly turned out to be that he was talking to everyone, doing sketches in their books (my copy of Neverwhere now has a monster peeping out around the flyleaf saying "Mind the Gap"), and saying "Sure!" to all requests for photos. Guy is a class act.
Sep. 7th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
That matches everything I've heard about the man.
(no subject) - melissajm - Sep. 7th, 2009 08:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
That is the most awesome thing I will see all day.

Had I been stupid enough to read this with anything in my mouth, it would have exited. Explosively. Several times. The Harlan Ellison one is especially golden.
Sep. 7th, 2009 05:05 pm (UTC)
::Grin:: Thank you!
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
Sep. 7th, 2009 04:58 pm (UTC)
Definitely signs of "cult of the author."
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( 190 comments — Leave a comment )


Jim C. Hines


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