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20 Neil Gaiman Facts

  1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
  2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
  3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
  4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check.  Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
  5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen.  In fifteen minutes.  He won two Hugo awards for it.
  6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
  7. Most agents charge a 15% commission.  Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
  8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
  9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
  10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse.  The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
  11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
  12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
  13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book.  This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
  14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
  15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
  16. Hitler actually won World War II.  Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
  17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view.  Neil Gaiman lives it.
  18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
  19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
  20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending.  However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


( 190 comments — Leave a comment )
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Sep. 7th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
That's awesome Jim.
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you :-)

#3 is the only one that was modified from the original Chuck Norris list. "If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you."
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:28 pm (UTC)
My favorite is 6, but I suspect that's because I'm a child of the eighties!
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman solved the Rubix Cube in 7 minutes. One-handed.
(no subject) - b_writes - Sep. 7th, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman Envy much, Jim?

Dr. Phil
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
Only the hair. And the accent. And the massively successful writing career...
(no subject) - damhan_alluidh - Sep. 7th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC)
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
Found via twitter. Awesome!
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:47 pm (UTC)
I was very much riffing off of the Chuck Norris fact lists when I wrote these.

Chuck Norris could roundhouse kick Neil Gaiman. But Neil Gaiman could write Chuck Norris out of existence.

Gaiman wins!
(no subject) - bondo_ba - Sep. 7th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:48 pm (UTC)
lol, good stuff
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Neil Gaiman's stories have rescued fourteen gods from oblivion. The Catholic Church and Fundamentalist Protestants consider this a major setback.
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
Hilarious! You forgot to include AFP, though:

Amanda Palmer once borrowed Neil Gaiman's pen to write a love song. But she can't sing it for anyone but Neil, because anyone else's ears would burst into flame.
Sep. 7th, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
verrry nice
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Oh this is wonderful. I was seriously thinking about how #1 could be done before I read on....

Can this be reposted? With a link back to you of course.
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'd prefer a link to simply reposting the whole thing, though if you wanted to include a few lines that wouldn't be a problem.
(no subject) - richlayers - Sep. 8th, 2009 02:49 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Hee, this is really great. :D
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
You'se taunting the Internets again? Cool!
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
It's how I unwind :-)
Sep. 7th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
Cafepress.com allows one to make their own tee shirts. Can I have your permission to make a tee shirt of this list?
Sep. 7th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
Give me a day or two to try to make sure Gaiman has no objections to the list?
(no subject) - bookdraco - Sep. 7th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - neadods - Sep. 8th, 2009 12:18 am (UTC) - Expand
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( 190 comments — Leave a comment )


Jim C. Hines

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