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Pose-off with John Scalzi

ETA: While the overall response to the fundraiser and pics continues to be exponentially awesome, I’ve also seen a few areas where response has begun to shift from, “I say, those poses seem remarkably impractical, and how exactly does one do that without dislocating one’s ankle?” to “Hey, guys dressing or posing like girls are both ugly and hilarious!” Which misses the point so badly it’s not even funny. Please see this follow-up post for my thoughts on the context of these poses, the hotness of John Scalzi, and my apology for not better framing and presenting this post in the first place.


When I started the Aicardi Syndrome Fundraiser, I recruited bestselling author and ukulele prodigy John Scalzi to be a bonus goal when we hit the $1000 mark.

We raised that much on the first day. Which meant it was time to see once and for all (at least until the next round) who was the true cover-posing master!

I issued the challenge, offering him the choice of three book covers to imitate. With the help of his readers, he selected The Taste of Night [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], by Vicki Pettersson.

This was the big one. After warming up, I took a break to walk off the pains of the previous poses, and to mentally prepare myself. I meditated for three days and six nights. I purified my body with a diet of crushed ice, unbuttered toast, and green Skittles. I studied one of our cat to learn the true secret of flexibility. Unfortunately, all I learned was the secret of well-timed cat farts.

But my training period was over. I put the Rocky soundtrack on the stereo, changed clothes, and began Operation Sexy Leg.

My wife took eight photos, helping me to adjust my stance each time, then giving me a chance to fall down between takes. But I think it was worth it!

Dear Internet: I present to you my version of The Taste of Night!

I’d like to thank my daughter for letting me borrow her bracelet, and my wife for the shoes and for letting me sacrifice one of her disposable razors.

But John Scalzi wanted to win this thing as much as I did. I don’t know what master he trained with, but whoever that wise and sadistic sensei might be, they turned Mister Scalzi into a posing opponent to be feared. John went all out in his own, special way.

Over on Twitter, John offered his thoughts on the process, saying, “AAAARRRGH MY HIP!”

I’d like to thank everyone for their donations and generosity so far, and John in particular for his willingness to play along. Please remember that the fundraiser runs through the end of the month, and the money raised supports both research into Aicardi Syndrome and the biannual conference which helps to unite these families, connecting them to a much-needed network of support.

And remember, there are more goals to come, including the $5000 group pose with me, Scalzi, Stross, Rothfuss, and Kowal! You know you want to see this, and we’re getting so close!

Go. Donate. Make the world better, and force more authors to injure themselves in humorous ways for a great cause.

But first, it’s time to make your voice heard! (I’m crossing my fingers that the poll widget works!)



Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


Dec. 11th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
And here I have to confess my ignorance. I have probably worn heels less than 30 times in my life. Very likely less than twenty. Twice I have obtained (once, bought, once was given) super cute lace up boots... but where would I wear them other than to a party? And then the moment I started dancing I'd be all "OMG, these are incredibly annoying!" and take them off. I finally made it a policy to wear wrestling boots or martial arts slippers to any such events. (That was before Merrell Gloves were on the market.)

So... while I know I'm not used to them, I don't really have much of a sense what people who are used to them can do.

Agreement on the locked elbow, BTW.Though I think I'd personally have more trouble with having the shoulder rolled forward. (Or maybe it's just that I'd be hearing Shifu call out "elbows shoulders dropped!" the whole time. Which'd throw me.)
Dec. 11th, 2012 11:54 pm (UTC)
Your seifu sounds like he'd get on well with my old master in Phnom Dom Phen Cambodian Judo and Wrestling. Sensi Tan would have been screaming MOVE FREELY and bitching us out in a combination of japanese, korean, cambodian, latin and english.

Dec. 12th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC)
She - Hong Yijiao, as featured in the picture above (though that's an old picture - for some reason that exhibition back in 2002 has become the standard source of web shots of folks doing 4th level push hands). Shifu does traditionally has a male feel to it... but Shimu isn't a feminine equivalent - it tended to mean the master's wife - and it's become common, especially for women coming out of the PRC, to use Shifu. I've been studying with her for 15 years now, and just made arrangements for the next set of private lessons when I'm back in Seattle in a couple of weeks. (Yay!)

That sounds excellent, though. What a great mix. It's kind of funny - Shifu is way tougher in her language when she's speaking Chinese - well, if she's speaking to a study who is young than her, anyway. Otherwise, it's pretty similar.


Jim C. Hines

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