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Pose-off with John Scalzi

ETA: While the overall response to the fundraiser and pics continues to be exponentially awesome, I’ve also seen a few areas where response has begun to shift from, “I say, those poses seem remarkably impractical, and how exactly does one do that without dislocating one’s ankle?” to “Hey, guys dressing or posing like girls are both ugly and hilarious!” Which misses the point so badly it’s not even funny. Please see this follow-up post for my thoughts on the context of these poses, the hotness of John Scalzi, and my apology for not better framing and presenting this post in the first place.


When I started the Aicardi Syndrome Fundraiser, I recruited bestselling author and ukulele prodigy John Scalzi to be a bonus goal when we hit the $1000 mark.

We raised that much on the first day. Which meant it was time to see once and for all (at least until the next round) who was the true cover-posing master!

I issued the challenge, offering him the choice of three book covers to imitate. With the help of his readers, he selected The Taste of Night [Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], by Vicki Pettersson.

This was the big one. After warming up, I took a break to walk off the pains of the previous poses, and to mentally prepare myself. I meditated for three days and six nights. I purified my body with a diet of crushed ice, unbuttered toast, and green Skittles. I studied one of our cat to learn the true secret of flexibility. Unfortunately, all I learned was the secret of well-timed cat farts.

But my training period was over. I put the Rocky soundtrack on the stereo, changed clothes, and began Operation Sexy Leg.

My wife took eight photos, helping me to adjust my stance each time, then giving me a chance to fall down between takes. But I think it was worth it!

Dear Internet: I present to you my version of The Taste of Night!

I’d like to thank my daughter for letting me borrow her bracelet, and my wife for the shoes and for letting me sacrifice one of her disposable razors.

But John Scalzi wanted to win this thing as much as I did. I don’t know what master he trained with, but whoever that wise and sadistic sensei might be, they turned Mister Scalzi into a posing opponent to be feared. John went all out in his own, special way.

Over on Twitter, John offered his thoughts on the process, saying, “AAAARRRGH MY HIP!”

I’d like to thank everyone for their donations and generosity so far, and John in particular for his willingness to play along. Please remember that the fundraiser runs through the end of the month, and the money raised supports both research into Aicardi Syndrome and the biannual conference which helps to unite these families, connecting them to a much-needed network of support.

And remember, there are more goals to come, including the $5000 group pose with me, Scalzi, Stross, Rothfuss, and Kowal! You know you want to see this, and we’re getting so close!

Go. Donate. Make the world better, and force more authors to injure themselves in humorous ways for a great cause.

But first, it’s time to make your voice heard! (I’m crossing my fingers that the poll widget works!)



Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


Dec. 11th, 2012 11:10 pm (UTC)
I have a pretty good sense of what works for my body, usually - which means things not infrequently end in a "Nuh-uh - the fuck...!" But when I consulted the picture again on a better monitor, it seems pretty clear that the knee is up, and it's just drapery from the skirt. So, not sure how this would work in heels, and there's a lot about this pose that just seems ridiculous, but doable. Especially if you don't care about wobbling or falling over.

I had not dissimilar surgery on my other knee fourteen years ago - what they thought was a torn meniscus then (which is the best guess for the intermittently swollen knee now, even though my symptoms are less like a torn meniscus than they were last time.) turned out to be a bone spur on the back of my patella. Within a week I was on my bike, within three it was fine.

But... I had spine surgery earlier this year, and the recovery has been slower than I'd have liked. (Of course, I would have liked immediate - really, it hasn't been bad, but there's a lot on my plate atm. I probably should have taken a leave of absence somewhere in this process.) And the whole lecture about crepitus in my knee and how I should stop doing the low stances is just way more than I want to deal with right now. Especially since is doesn't really gibe with my experience of my knees. Whine, whine, whine. (I teach anatomy, and much of my doctoral work is on biomechanics, so I'm quite equipped to represent myself in this regard... but I doan wanna. And oh dear gods I don't want to break in new doctors right now.)
Dec. 11th, 2012 11:21 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it took me forever to find a sports med guy I really liked. And then he died. :-( If he were still around, I bet my ankle would be working a lot better by now.


Jim C. Hines

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