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This comic was inspired by a number of conversations I’ve had online.

Look, it’s not that men don’t get harassed or threatened. But for guys to go around stating that they’ve had people talk crap about them online too, and using that as the basis to declare that women are too thin-skinned and are overreacting to harassment and threats, is just overflowing with wrongness. Not to mention an utter lack of sympathy, and a profound ignorance of the very real epidemic of violence against women.

Trigger warning: the comic’s final panel includes graphic threats of rape and violence.

Online Harassment Comic

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

Comments

( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
lietya
Jan. 9th, 2014 07:39 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant, and I'm bookmarking it.

I think the saddest commentary was that the only thing that shocked me was seeing the footnotes... and realizing how easy it was to put together a horrifying list of very specific, very terrible comments.
jimhines
Jan. 9th, 2014 07:42 pm (UTC)
And it could have been a much longer list without much difficulty.

The worst I've ever gotten was an anonymous comment saying "I'll rape you." Which is not okay. But it's also not part of an ongoing bombardment of gender-specific threats and attacks like you see toward women.
(no subject) - lietya - Jan. 9th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jimhines - Jan. 9th, 2014 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - swan_tower - Jan. 9th, 2014 08:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - etcet - Jan. 9th, 2014 09:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tzaddi_93 - Jan. 10th, 2014 10:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - etcet - Jan. 10th, 2014 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - natf - Jan. 11th, 2014 10:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - inaurolillium - Jan. 11th, 2014 11:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - etcet - Jan. 11th, 2014 06:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
martianmooncrab
Jan. 9th, 2014 08:36 pm (UTC)
yeah, you would think that women were born without a sense of humor the way some men talk. A male sense of humor that is..
fengi
Jan. 9th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
I'd also point out that men often ignore severity, context and degree when they resort to the "it happens to everyone" argument.

Their examples often involve: "I made a comment on this online forum and everyone told me to fuck off and die" or "I was playing a game online and the other players hurled vile insults." or "I read the comments on Youtube."

It's "some random dude I never engaged decided something I posted online merited retaliation which continued and escalated over a disturbing amount of time." or "when other players realized I was a girl they ceaselessly insulted me and when I shut off the sound tried every method they could to get to me and ganged up to force me out of the game" or "an organized group of dudes tried to shut down my youtube account by flagging me as hate speech", or "a guy tracked down my number and made obscene phone calls because I was dismissive of pickup artists". or "A group of dudes tried to get me fired because I question the status quo." or "someone randomly chose my Facebook profile, created fake nudes from my pictures and posted them on a revenge porn site along with all my personal information".

When a guy has all of his personal information dumped online and is then subjected to offline harassment, it an a unusual and extreme event. For women, dealing with some random trolls who keep escalating no matter what is disturbingly frequent, and largely goes unremarked.

Everyone fears being randomly targeted by trolls who keep escalating no matter how one reacts, but it's a reality for far more women than men.

HWomen who have never taken a nude photo are still randomly targeted with fakes on revenge porn sites.

Guys may fear being randomly targeted by a troll who keeps escalating no matter what you do
jimhines
Jan. 10th, 2014 12:36 am (UTC)
I'd also point out that men often ignore severity, context and degree when they resort to the "it happens to everyone" argument.

Yep.
(no subject) - fengi - Jan. 10th, 2014 01:16 am (UTC) - Expand
lynn9mckenzie
Jan. 9th, 2014 09:59 pm (UTC)
Absolutely spot-on. We need more men like you speaking out against this.
wintersillusion
Jan. 9th, 2014 10:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this!
lemon_vampire
Jan. 10th, 2014 12:29 am (UTC)
I'm a woman and...
I dunno, is it kind of weird that the second panel kind of turned me on a little bit?
jimhines
Jan. 10th, 2014 12:35 am (UTC)
Re: I'm a woman and...
Well, I'm not about to judge people's preferences or kinks (as long as it's all consensual) but I'll admit that wasn't a reaction I was expecting...
Re: I'm a woman and... - lemon_vampire - Jan. 10th, 2014 12:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: I'm a woman and... - jimhines - Jan. 10th, 2014 01:08 am (UTC) - Expand
adlyeith
Jan. 10th, 2014 02:14 am (UTC)
As a female that often plays online games, I can honestly say that I'm sick and tired of hearing the "it happens to everyone" argument from male gamers. I often won't even disclose my gender to friends that I make online.

I also have had IRL friends whose ex-boyfriends (both played the same games) leaked nude pictures of my friends to players of the games, encouraging them to alienate and verbally/emotionally harass them until they quit.

In all the years that I have been gaming, in specific playing MMORPGs, I have never seen men treated anywhere near as bad as I've seen females get treated. The hostility and vulgarity that I have witnessed in online threads and in-game behavior has shocked me, and I'm glad there is someone speaking out about this. Far too often it gets swept under the rug, especially when it's online and can be brushed aside with the tagline of "just turn off your computer"
grimm_solace
Jan. 10th, 2014 07:28 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, the issue appears to be horribly prevalent within the online gaming community, as the males within it tend to view gaming as a bastion of masculinity and competitiveness.

Spurred by the relative anonymity of the forum itself, and the implied insult of a woman performing well in a typically male-dominated environment, it's become acceptable to shame females, or those viewed as overly feminized, into submission, and in many cases, outright fear.

We live in a culture in which it's acceptable to threaten an individual with rape, and to consistently emphasize that a woman's purpose is to be valuable to a man. It's acceptable to debase an individual on the basis of femininity or non-heterosexuality. (Because isn't non-heterosexuality the same as being feminine?)

As a culture, we have failed at educating our population in the inherent value of each person, value that they have because of the things that make them an individual. We have made it acceptable to devalue and debase people. Until there are dramatic changes made in how we educate and how our legislators speak on certain issues (legitimate rape, anyone?), the devaluing and debasement will continue.

I'm encouraged when a gaming-centric company speaks out against the rampant misogyny, but unfortunately it's really not enough to encourage me to participate in online gaming again. While I will happily call myself a gamer, I'd much rather limit myself to single player experiences than listen to males (ranging as young as 10 to as old as 50) debase and devalue me because I happen to be in possession of a vagina. For that matter, I'd prefer to not listen to them debase and devalue my husband, because he is bisexual.
sunlit_music
Jan. 10th, 2014 09:31 am (UTC)
I'm bookmarking this. Thanks so much for posting this, Jim.

Online misogynists implying a guy is feminine for backing up women? How sad and predictable.

I've met plenty of nice people when I used to play online games. But I've also met major douches too. If I had a dime for every time someone online insulted femininity and non heterosexuality I'd be ridiculously rich... *sighs and shakes head* It *definitely* does not "happen to everyone".

I'm really glad you're posting things like this. Keep fighting the good fight. :)

Edited at 2014-01-10 09:33 am (UTC)
la_marquise_de_
Jan. 10th, 2014 03:12 pm (UTC)
S[pot on. Thank you. Jim.
A troll recently called for a female friend of mine to be bombed, for the crime of being female in public. Not minor; not at all.
jimhines
Jan. 10th, 2014 03:18 pm (UTC)
Bombs can't hurt you if your skin is thick enough!!!

::Facepalm::
silknightshade
Jan. 10th, 2014 03:25 pm (UTC)
Oversensitivity on the net
To start with, and I don't care who feelings are hurt by what I have to say , however, I've come to realize that the internet is a place for many, not all, people that are very disturbed and dysfunctional to come and take all their perceived hurt, anger and resentment from their lives out on unsuspecting people that may be here for just entertainment. It has also become the toilet version of "Match.com". Here they can hide behind the relatively safe anonymity of an electronic connection and lie, hurt, cheat and steal (emotionally and financially) with impunity. I don't understand why people don't realize that the internet is no safer than talking to a salesman on the phone. The only difference is here they can show you fake pictures. Open your eyes people and stop being "victims" cause the predators are always out and always vigilant. And unfortunately, there's no such thing as "thought police", for good or bad.
Now if the truth hurts your feelings, congratulations, you're human. Get over it and remember "vos autem non estis defete" Don"t let the bastar-s defeat you!
jimhines
Jan. 10th, 2014 03:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Oversensitivity on the net
I'm honestly not sure who you're addressing, or what you're trying to say here...

Edited at 2014-01-10 03:35 pm (UTC)
Re: Oversensitivity on the net - silknightshade - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Oversensitivity on the net - iseryn - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Oversensitivity on the net - jimhines - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Oversensitivity on the net - starcat_jewel - Jan. 15th, 2014 02:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Oversensitivity on the net - dionysus1999 - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lenora_rose - Jan. 12th, 2014 05:49 am (UTC) - Expand
mtlawson
Jan. 10th, 2014 03:28 pm (UTC)
/applause
silknightshade
Jan. 10th, 2014 05:28 pm (UTC)
*bows*
(no subject) - mtlawson - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jimhines - Jan. 10th, 2014 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Jan. 10th, 2014 07:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 39 comments — Leave a comment )

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