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Social Media Gravity Well

No blog post today. All of my social media energy has been drawn into a conversation on Facebook about respecting people’s gender identity.

600+ shares and several hundred comments later, I’m still dealing with comment management and a little bit of bigot herding.

Seems like an awful lot of argument over a post that basically comes down to, “Hey, if folks could treat other people with respect and common courtesy, that would be great.”

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 26th, 2015 07:51 pm (UTC)
How dare you suggest such a thing!
Aug. 26th, 2015 08:04 pm (UTC)
Aug. 27th, 2015 12:21 am (UTC)
Seriously. You should be ashamed. Tut. If people started being nice to each other, that could lead to...well...you know...people being nice. The horror!
Aug. 26th, 2015 08:01 pm (UTC)
That was excellently-written piece. It's just a damn shame you have to write it - that sort of thing should be so obvious that anyone who points it out gets looked at like they've sprouted a second head or something.
Aug. 26th, 2015 08:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

And yeah. One of these days...
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 27th, 2015 11:30 am (UTC)
Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, it's not like they're goblins ;-)
Aug. 26th, 2015 09:46 pm (UTC)
One or two of them wandered over to my page. I now know exactly how long my patience will stretch before it snaps.

(their arguments all seem to boil down to "I don't like it and it's icky and it makes extra work for me." Which...does not impress.)
Aug. 27th, 2015 02:14 am (UTC)
Well, thinking about sex *is* icky. So don't think about it.
Just tell me what to call someone in order to be polite, and I'll do my best to remember to do so. I may slip, but it won't be on purpose.
Aug. 27th, 2015 01:22 am (UTC)
Just awesome how you have moderated the comments there.
Aug. 27th, 2015 03:37 pm (UTC)
To quote Neil Gaiman: I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”
Aug. 27th, 2015 04:20 pm (UTC)
What astounds me are people, adult people, sitting in comment threads saying "no" with a fairly clear 5 year old's foot stomp. "No. I don't care. MY world, MY words, MY choice not yours."


Of course the second I see that I'm done with the person. Increasingly I just give up when that happens. Which is sad, really. Increasingly I view people who have opinions that entrenched as just not worth the conversation. I've never seen The Argument that will change their position (or mine, for that matter), so I don't bother just throwing my time and words at them.
Aug. 27th, 2015 07:15 pm (UTC)
Something I read recently, "Politically incorrect is just a politically correct term for asshole."

And all I hear from trolls is, "I don't want to have to treat other people decently and you're mean to expect me to." *stomps feet*
Aug. 28th, 2015 05:40 pm (UTC)
But whether you understand or not, it costs you NOTHING to treat people with basic respect.

This pretty much sums up my attitude towards this and various other issues. I don't begin to understand what people who are differently gendered are feeling, but I don't have to. I just have to accept that they do feel the way they do and treat them with the same respect due to anyone else. If someone tells me they're a man, then that's enough for me. If they tell me they're a woman, same thing. If they tell me they're neither, then they'll have to explain how they want me to refer to them if they want me to get it right, but that's nothing to make a big deal out of.
Sep. 2nd, 2015 06:33 pm (UTC)
Jim's essay about the wolf, the pig, and the bunny really brought that into focus for me. I'd already understood and agreed that it was rude to use words that hurt people, but the simple question of, "What does it cost ME to choose another word?" was an angle that had never occurred to me, and it makes a tremendous difference in the way I now view people who refuse to do that tiny thing.

(Furthermore, that applies even for words like "niggardly". Insisting on my right to use it, when I already know that it is often misunderstood to mean something it doesn't, is privileging my own convenience over effective communication, with a side of showing-off. What does it cost me to choose another word? NOTHING.)
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


Jim C. Hines


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